Signs Your Partner Is Cheating On You And How To Catch Them

Think your mate might be having an affair? Find out if he is displaying any of the warning signals described by Raymond B. Green, a private investigator and former police officer, and Marcella Bakur, a psychology professor at Marymount Manhattan College. Here, the 14 emotional signs that he is having an affair: 

1. Your partner is more attentive to your needs than usual. This is due to the guilt feelings experienced by the cheater in the early stages of his or her affair. The attention will diminish as the affair continues.

2. Your partner begins buying you gifts—lots of gifts. These are "guilt gifts" purchased because your partner feels guilty about betraying you and showering you with presents makes him or her feel better.

3. Your partner's behavior is causing a gut feeling in you that something isn't right. If this happens, pay attention to your instincts. Ignoring them means you want to blind yourself to the truth. You know your mate's habits, routines and attitudes better than anybody, so be suspicious when these things change.

4. Your partner frequently picks fights with you. Doing this gives him reason to get mad and storm out of the house and thus the opportunity to meet a lover. A cheater may also do this because of mixed emotions he is feeling about betraying you.


5. Your partner constantly talks about your relationship ending when you fight or argue. She says things like, "What would you do if our relationship ended?" or "If anything ever happened to us, I would always love you like a friend." In general, she seems very negative about your relationship. Your mate makes these statements because she has a lover to fall back on if your relationship ends. If your partner repeats these kinds of statements often, be suspicious.

6. Your partner becomes very moody. He or she seems very upbeat and excited when leaving you but acts somber and depressed when around you. If your mate is in a long-term affair, he/she will try to keep both relationships running smoothly. Any problems the cheater has in one relationship will spill over into the other relationship as well. This is inevitable.

7. Your partner never talks to you. You live together but don't interact. He has become cold and inconsiderate of your feelings.

8. Your partner's taste in music suddenly changes. For instance, she always listened to pop music but suddenly starts listening to country music. Your partner might be listening to and growing fond of this new type of music because her lover listens to it.

9. Your partner lacks self-esteem. This doesn't necessarily mean he will go out and have an affair, but an insecure individual often looks to others for guidance. If an insecure person's needs aren't being met, he might find the desire  feelings of security and positive feedback in an affair with someone else.

10. Your partner continually criticizes another person. She is trying to make you think that type of individual would never be of interest to her, although there actually exists a secret attraction.

11. Your partner criticizes things about you that he or she once found attractive and appealing.

12. Your partner easily becomes offended at the comments, however harmless, that you make.

13. Your partner stops paying attention to you, your children and home-life in general.

14. Your partner begins closing doors when you are around, when before he or she would leave them open. For instance, the Bathroom-Door Rule: Couples in long-term relationships often leave their bathroom doors open while attending to necessities even if their partners are nearby. As affairs develop, the cheating mates will close bathroom doors, distancing themselves physically and psychologically from their partners.